Why I admire Rick Perry

Let's say I got up and said, "Look at Bill White, he won't release tax returns from his childhood jobs.  I'm not debating him; he's obviously hiding something, that big scardy cat.  Besides he's a left of liberal trial lawyer.  That's not the kind of business owner we need in this state; imagine holding businesses accountable for their mistakes acts of God.  Scorn the thought.  And it's not the government’s job to hold business accountable either. Yeah, we may have some of the dirtiest air in the country, but we're getting better; the EPA just needs to stay out.

"You should know as governor I’ve protected Texans from the evil government intrusion into their lives. Things like forcing girls to get vaccines against sexually transmitted viruses. Can you believe the governor would have the audacity to even suggest that your pure, righteous daughters are having sex? And then would bypass the legislature and the will of the people?  Shameless.  Oh, did I do that?  That darned liberal media.  Well let’s move on.  I kept my Trans-Texas Corridor proposal from being implemented so the government couldn't steal the land of hard-working Texans. And I'm calling for cuts to the business tax that I created.

"And, oh, I shooted a coyote.  LOOK OUT FOR THE BOMBS!"

People would say, "Oh, how cute. A second grader is running for governor."  Rick Perry does it and gets pegged as presidential material.